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// i'm a goddess on my knees \\
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Vanessa's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, December 25th, 2010
2:10 am
[sloppy Atsirian]

I must say, Miss Acantha, your wares are much finer than I expected. I do hope you are being given proper recognition for your hard work. I would hate to know that you had been overlooked or left devoid of praise for whatever reason.

I have to say that I still think the rains do not exactly become me. Oh, I am more used to them this year, but they leave me wet and miserable regardless. I feel like a cat that has been left out in the weather, occasionally, and likely I am as unpleasant to deal with as one. I am certain I have snapped at my coworkers far more times than is excusable. It is a wonder I have not yet been written up or reprimanded. Perhaps they feel the same about this weather, I suppose. It would be reassuring if it was just as disconcerting to the natives as it is to me.

Current Mood: wet
Sunday, November 28th, 2010
5:50 am
[sloppy Atsirian]


This is only my second Night of Floating Fire I have ever seen, but it was better, I think, than the one I saw last year in Feldri. Perhaps just because Cleraine is a larger city? Nevertheless. I did enjoy it, though I did not have anyone to light a lantern with, and at this rate I doubt that I ever will. I do not mind awfully much, it is only that I feel a bit left out among all the happy couples and families.

I suppose we will see by the time next year comes, but I am not about to cross my fingers.

People are still all abuzz with gossip about the event. I can hardly keep up with how fast they speak, most of the time. I suppose it is for the best. Gossip has always been such a pointless thing in my opinion.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Saturday, October 30th, 2010
6:24 am
[sloppy Atsirian]

I think I have decided to attend the Goddess church celebration, if only because I don't know any others willing to host a Dentoria like me. I do not expect my mind to be changed about anything to do with the church, but I suppose we shall see.

I am greatly envious of those attending Atsir's party. It sounds like it will be quite the event. I wish that I could go, but of course I know better than to expect such.

I think writing so often like this is improving my Atsirian written. It is hard to tell.

Current Mood: optimistic
Wednesday, October 27th, 2010
5:29 pm
Well, I've procured a mask and I think I have somewhat of a costume put together. All of this is still very strange for me, but I suppose it's best that I get used to it sooner rather than later.

[sloppy Atsirian]

Though I do not know what I will doing for the night. There are many celebration, but I am unsure what I should attend if any of them. I am not sure I would be welcome at them.

I suppose I will choose when the night comes.
Tuesday, September 28th, 2010
9:13 pm
[choppy Atsirian]

Well, I placed application with the Cleraine guard. Thankfully, I learn enough from Pamela's spoken Atsirian teachings that they could still tell I was Dentoria, but I said well enough that they didn't at once send away me and tell me I was not welcomed.

If nothing else, I like to think I made impression them with training I already have, even if I was a bit rusty. However, they say my written Atsirian was less than good, so I am trying write it more often, even if it is awful. A little embarrass is better than humiliation when I next write anything to them.

Apologies for my terrible writing.

Current Mood: busy
Sunday, September 26th, 2010
7:13 am
[Filter: Pamela]

Well, I wanted to thank you again for the lovely gift. I wasn't actually expecting anything in the way of Festival gifts this year, so I hope you know that you've very much brightened my entire month with this. And since you were so busy yesterday, well ...

Are you terribly busy next week? I was hoping to schedule another lesson, if you didn't have too much business to take care of. You can tell from the note I've still a very long way to go.
Sunday, August 29th, 2010
3:18 am
I have to say, Miss ... mm, it was Pamela, wasn't it? My apologies, I'm horrid with names. The place you picked for our little lunch was altogether quite charming, though I hope you can understand that I can't accompany you there very often with such a limited budget.

We didn't particularly have much time to discuss the specifics of your Atsirian help, though, so I thought I would ask you now. That is, of course, if you're not too busy.
Monday, August 23rd, 2010
11:39 pm
Well, now that I'm fairly settled in and all of my things are as unpacked as I feel comfortable with until I find work, it's time to look for a job.

Is there anyone in Cleraine who can tell me the details about applying with the city guard? Or from Cleraine, or anything of the sort. I'm sure everything is very different from how it is in Dentoria, and I hardly want to go about making it clear how little I know about things here. That's more likely to get me quickly laughed out of the city before anything else happens.

Current Mood: productive
Thursday, July 29th, 2010
6:33 am
Well, here we are, then.

I have to thank Miss Pamela for her recommendation. Jaezera and I found a little place on the edge of the business district, and she managed to haggle it down to a reasonable price. I'm still likely to be paying my loans off for several years, but if I didn't expect to stay here at least that long, I wouldn't have bought a place as nice as this one.

The caravan is leaving on the thirty-first, which is hardly so far away at all now. I think Jaezera is the only one that will miss me, but, well, she's the only one I honestly had much regard for, myself. She's promised that she'll write to me, but I wouldn't be surprised if she forgets me completely the moment she's outside the city walls.

It's very strange, having a little place to call my own in this city.
Friday, July 16th, 2010
6:12 am
Mm, well, the decision's official.

Gareth, bless his very soul, has offered me no assistance in seeking a place for myself. I'm hardly surprised, to be honest. He never has a penny or a thought to spare for anyone who isn't busy kissing the boots on his feet, and I've never particularly cared to do so. I suppose he's all too happy to be rid of me, though I'm sure he's unhappy about having to appoint another Atsirian in my place, the foolish little man.

Jaezera, though, oh, she's beside herself. With jealousy, mostly, as I think she would like to stay here herself but she tells me she can't until she's made some more coin. I suppose I'm quite lucky that Cleraine was the longest I said I would stay with him, so I've still been paid in full. I think the woman truly just wishes to stay here and join the church, and I'm sure she'll manage someday, but I haven't any idea when. She's been quite helpful, actually, when Gareth isn't keeping her too busy out of spite.

There's a little place I'm looking into in one of the poorer districts of the city, since it's all I can afford, but Jaezera tells me I'm being cheated, so I suppose I'm to try and find someplace else with her, this weekend. She wants to go to a sermon together and then have a look around the city. I suppose it's better than settling for the first thing I can find.

Mm, I'm still anxious, though, I must admit. It will be ... difficult, for me to find work, when I'm still working on my Atsirian. At least I can understand it when it's spoken to me, now, and I can manage to read most of it. It's the speaking and writing myself that I simply can't grasp. Maybe it'll improve with time.

Current Mood: busy
Monday, June 28th, 2010
5:36 am
Well, there you are, the entire city seems to have fallen completely silent. The Prophet's gone on her way, and it feels practically as though someone has died, everything's gone so quiet. I haven't gone to see the temple since, but I've certainly heard people chatting here and there, and while my Atsirian isn't good, even I can recognize what "Destra" means.

It's really a bit tragic what the loss of an authority figure does to people. They're all stumbling around like lost sheep. Maybe I'm a bit too new to the situation, considering I haven't been in the city for long, but it all seems a bit ... extreme.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
12:24 am
Gareth is making plans to leave the city by the end of July, and you know, I've been thinking.

I rather like it here. It's certainly my favorite city of all the ones I've been to so far, and I'm even getting used to the heat. The end of July is still quite a ways away, and it's plenty of time to let Gareth know that he'll need to find someone else to fill my job.

I suppose I'd need to find a new source of employment in the city if I was to stay, but surely that couldn't be so difficult for a woman of many talents like myself. It might take some time ... and I'd need to find a place to stay, as well.

Something to think about, I suppose.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Thursday, May 27th, 2010
5:41 am

I attended one of those Goddess sermons with Jaezera a few nights ago, and the woman is completely enthralled. To be honest, I'm not completely surprised. The faith seems just like her sort of indulgence, to be honest, and she's been chatting about it ever since the tales started reaching our ragtag little caravan.

I'm going to be accompanying her to another sermon tonight, and presumably another sometime after that as well. I suppose we'll have to see what I think of it. To be honest, I'm still not sure.

Current Mood: perplexed
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
4:55 am
Mm, well. I can certainly say that Cleraine is quite the place to recover from such a long journey. I've taken a bath every single night. It's nice to feel a bit like a human being again, and not some kind of sand wraith wandering from city to city.

It's lovely here, as well. Jaezera has been busy helping get matters set up for business, but I've taken it upon myself to look around the city a bit. What I think I'd like to do first is have a good look at this theater I've heard so many wonderful things about. I suppose I'm likely to be in the dark for much of whatever show I see, though, considering it's likely to be entirely in Atsirian. I suppose, if nothing else, it'll prove a good test of how much I've learned along the way.

After that, though, I'm entirely unsure of what to do next. I suppose this is where I plead with the magic journals for any suggestions the lot of you might have~?

Current Mood: cheerful
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010
11:41 pm
Well, now, I've been informed we're to be arriving at the city a bit earlier than expected, which is always fantastic news, if it gets me out of the desert. April the 30th, apparently, in the afternoon. I don't think any of us are going to be up for any sort of business for the first couple of days, while we relax and get our bearings back, but you never can be too sure how the situation might change.

Personally, I know I'm looking forward to it. All the buzz about the activity in the city on these journals hasn't failed to catch my eye, and it also hasn't gone without notice that I'm likely to be in the city for what may be some very important announcements~ I'm looking forward to every single bit of it. I'm just afraid that a nice, long, hot bath is the foremost thing on my mind right now.

Current Mood: chipper
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010
6:14 am
You know, in my opinion, it's very much a shame that we didn't get to spend my birthday in a city. Oh, we held a little celebration for it when we stopped for the night, but even that wasn't much of anything. I suppose it's all in the price to be paid when one spends all her time traveling, however.

Would it be silly to admit I'm counting down the days until we arrive in Cleraine? I suppose the fact that the date is still rather variable makes it sillier, but, well. I can certainly weather a little disappointment.
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
9:09 pm
[Filter: Private]

Hm, that girl is right, isn't she?

It's been a year, now, since I left Dentoria. Every now and then it does strike me how strange a route my life has taken, when I never planned for this to come about. Never even imagined any of it, really. And yet, here I stand, on my way to Cleraine, camped out in the sands for the night. It's certainly a world of difference from Dentoria, and yet, I find that I appreciate it better.

It's not as though it's a complete change. All the Atsirian I know, I've picked up from listening to other people argue, and I can take a wild guess that some of those terms are not the best to use in pleasant conversation. But still, two years ago, could I have possibly imagined that this would be my life? Serving as a caravan guard in a country I never thought I would see so much as the coastline of.

Life is odd like that, I suppose.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
5:32 am
If I must be honest, I can't decide whether the rain near the cities or the sun in the desert is worse. I'm still mostly amazed that the weather can vary so much in a country I've always been told was dry as a bone.

Our arrival date in Cleraine is supposed to be near the beginning of May, apparently. Still far too long off for my tastes, much less to begin talking about, but it's at least an estimate. I'll hope that the sands are kind to us and we make good time. Of course, even the natives say the sands are rarely kind, so I suppose I probably shouldn't cross my fingers.

Jaezera has been telling me wondrous stories about Cleraine in that way of hers. I think she's curious about the temple, more than anything else. It wasn't even under construction when she left the city. I have to admit that my own curiosity is a bit piqued, to be honest, but I suppose anyone's would be.

Current Mood: okay
Sunday, February 28th, 2010
8:46 am
In my humble opinion, two more weeks here is not long enough. I've just now gotten reacquainted with bathwater and scented soaps. It's hardly fair to make me part ways when I've barely gotten used to them again.

I'm still not fond of the rain here, but it's better than the constant heat. Besides, I've managed to stay indoors most of the time, and that makes it a good deal more bearable. Simply don't mention to Gareth that some of my illnesses were a bit feigned.

I have to say, though, you know, Atsirian food was an entirely strange experience when I first came to the country. But now, I'm growing very fond of it. Though Jaezera looks down at our food in scorn and tells me regularly that it's not made as spicy as it ought to be. I suppose I ought to be thankful for that. I can barely manage to keep from breathing fire as it is.
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010
8:07 pm
Ah, and here we are. A waytown and rain to add on top of it. I suppose I shouldn't complain, after so long in the desert, but there's something about rain which simply drains all my energy from me. It's completely irrational, I'm aware, but what can I do about it? Nothing, I'm afraid.

Regardless, it's not as though we'll be camping under the stars here. I believe the first thing I'm going to do is take a very long, hot bath. I never realized what a luxury bathing was until I had to go so long without it.

Current Mood: wet
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